Dissolution - The End - Part 1.

Hello, guys, I don't know who might be reading, perhaps it might be me myself a few years down the road, but today I would like to pour my heart out into a beautiful story that has just ended. It's about the story of a wolf and a cat, the wolf being my now ex, and the cat, me.

I will start from the end from the relationship and then move towards the beginning. Every post that I write, I will vividly note it down and relive the pain to the best of my abilities. Hopefully, before I finish this series of post, I, myself, will be able to accept it fully and be ready to start a new beginning with someone else. 

The End

We crossed paths, but we were never meant to be. What left were the strong lingering notes of regrets, complaints, guilt, anguish, frustration, and sadness. It should have never ended like this, not like this. As the plane took off, we held hands for the last five minutes, memories of what has happened, what could have happened, and what should not have happened flashed across my mind, akin to the flash of memories before the bidding of a final goodbye to the world. 

Our quivering interlocking fingers squeezed tight, it had been so long that I've almost forgotten how it felt like to hold your hands. Almost as if it was in protest and rebellion to the inevitable, our fingers squeezed even tighter as we counted down to the time for taking off. In my mind, memories flashed from start to end, and finally ending with the last 12 days we have spent in Taiwan. The things that had happened, the time we have spent together, the heated arguments we had, the tears we shed together, and the acceptance that our relationship has went passed its recovery stage. 

As the plane took off, I bit onto my lips and shed my tears of regrets and sorrows in front of him for the last time. And then it happened, the moment of realization, panic, feelings of finality and acceptance, we reluctantly and hesitantly released our interlocking fingers. We have left everything in Taiwan, the whirlpool of emotions that I cannot and must not take back to Singapore.


And then I think to myself, what had gone wrong in this relationship? What had went wrong on this trip? What was the triggering moment for the downfall of this relationship? We had it all, we were a loving and adaptable couple, with clear honesty and communications. Our relationship stood tall and strong and there was supposed to be nothing that could have brought us down, or so, that was what we thought. Never one day had we imagined that our relationship would come crashing down on us. Never one day had we imagined one person could come between us and act as a catalyst to the destruction of our relationship.

All that was left now is emptiness, regrets, and a sense of loss, accompanied by a story that I have posted to Facebook and I will always remember.

“This trip to Taiwan had been the most memorable.

Happiness, guilt, insecurities, regrets, relief, anger, sadness, denial, and finally sweet bitterness and acceptance.

I have loved you with all the little-broken pieces of my heart and I'm glad that you've done the same. Thank you for the short company in this lonely train ride of mine.

I will never forget the story of a lonely wolf that had so much strength and vulnerability. The lonely wolf who sponges up negative emotions from everyone else around him to make them feel better. The lonely wolf who once loved a very lonely and broken cat, where they frolicked and indulged in everyday pleasantries and talked about their aspirations and hopes, vulnerabilities and demons.

There'll be a part of you in me that I'll bring to my grave. I'm glad that I've met you and decided to love you, I have never once regretted loving you and I never will. And I'll continue loving you till it becomes a past tense.





To Wolf,
Cat.”