Dissolution - The Supposed Closure - Part 2.

Hello, guys, I don't know who might be reading, perhaps it might be me myself a few years down the road, but today I would like to pour my heart out into a beautiful story that has just ended. It's about the story of a Wolf and a Cat, the Wolf being my now ex, and the Cat, me.

I will start from the end from the relationship and then move towards the beginning. Every post that I write, I will vividly note it down and relive the pain to the best of my abilities. Hopefully, before I finish this series of post, I, myself, will be able to accept it fully and be ready to start a new beginning with someone else. 

Taiwan Day 10 ~ 11

It was finally day 10, Wolf and X returned home late from drinking and I pretended to be asleep. I stared at Wolf's back as he slept at the other end of sofa bed we were on. I was thinking to myself, willing myself to control my emotions not to touch him, to stroke him, and to get some reassurance for myself. I was starving from reassurance and physical affection. Still, I waited and waited.

X has finally left the room in the afternoon to meet his date. I moved closer to Wolf and gave a tentative hug. He was awake, and I decided to ease into the topic I had in mind which I've run debates over for the entire night. Something which I probably should not have done. Apparently, he had wanted to forget about all the arguments and discussions we had, to pretend that all these things did not happen.

The discussion that morning did not convince him that X really had issues and he was convinced that I was biased against X. And I don't know how else to convince Wolf of otherwise. We then went on about our daily activities in the daytime to explore Taiwan individually as Wolf wanted his alone time.

At night, we've found some alone time together as our friend X left to meet his other friends before heading to the clubs and bars, where Wolf would head out to meet him there an hour after. There was no music playing that night, we just sat there staring at our Facebook and not doing anything else. That was when he initiated. He said that these few days had been extremely exhausting, both emotionally, physically, and mentally, which was why he seemed to always need a lot more sleep than usual, in which I concur. 

Then somehow, a way or another, we slipped into the topic of us, and before I knew what I was doing, I was asking if I could have 50 minutes of his time to talk things out before he leaves to meet X for drinks. We set the timer on his phone and we started talking, 50 minutes of truth and honesty, nothing else. 

He looked at me and I looked right back into his eyes. Words of anger, frustration, and sadness were pouring out. What he felt, what I felt, the criticisms he had for me, and the criticisms I had for him. I steeled myself as I asked him an honest question. I said, "Were you thinking of breaking up with me back in Singapore? Was our relationship still afloat in Taiwan because you did not want it to affect our trip? Was it sympathy and not romantic affections that you have felt when you first voiced that your feelings for me have faded on the first day of Taiwan trip?"

It was at the 30 minutes mark when both of us were starting to break down. Our fingers intertwined for comfort. We started describing our feelings and our thoughts about everything. About my childhood trauma, insecurities, and his irritation, frustration, and guilt for giving me a cold shoulder and not sparing a thought for me. We poured our hearts out for almost every single event and a topic we have thought of, the 50 minutes was just not enough. 

By the 45 minutes mark, we were in a tight embrace on the bed. Both crying our hearts out over the inevitable loss of the relationship. I've told him that I could never be friends with my lovers, my lovers would usually become strangers to me again, and we would probably never see each another, hug each another, nor talk again. As the clock ticks down to 20 seconds, we were literally wailing and crying our eyes out. I screamed between sobs that I never wanted to let him go, I didn't want to let him go now either, I've tried so hard, tried so so hard, I don't know what else I could do to make him stay or make him still love me. He cried in return that he was sorry and he was sorry for hurting me. And as the timer ticks to 5 seconds, we cried, cuddled, and started counting down aloud together. 

5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1, and as the timer alerted us of the inevitable, we reluctantly released our embrace. Our relationship has ended. We have become strangers, and there was nothing we could do than to leave everything behind that 5 seconds of counting down. He left shortly after, to find his Taiwanese friend that he has met in another bar instead of X. With my emotions screaming still screaming in my mind, I blankly looked at him and forced a smile as convincingly as I could. I told him to be careful outside as we were still in Taiwan. He nodded and agreed to take good care of himself.

Somehow a way or another, he knew I would leave that night, I was just a minute away from getting a ticket back home that night. Anything to leave this place, to never see him, to avoid everything and run away. He looked at me sadly and told me that he would not blame me if I actually did that, and he asked me to take care. That was when I realized, I love him too much that I could not bring myself to simply dump everything behind and leave him to his own demise; he'd probably feel a lot worse without me around when he comes back from drinking.

What came after was a drunk wolf with bruised knuckles from wall punching. We stood in the balcony, played music, sang, and cried. I can't remember how long we've stood there, but at some point in time, we stood up and watched the sunrise together; fulfilling one of our many promises for the last time.   

This night was the night that we had a closure. I could no longer stand the suspense and the hot and cold treatment. No one was right nor wrong in our relationship. He just happened to stop loving me, and I guess no one could ever change that.

Dissolution - The End - Part 1.

Hello, guys, I don't know who might be reading, perhaps it might be me myself a few years down the road, but today I would like to pour my heart out into a beautiful story that has just ended. It's about the story of a wolf and a cat, the wolf being my now ex, and the cat, me.

I will start from the end from the relationship and then move towards the beginning. Every post that I write, I will vividly note it down and relive the pain to the best of my abilities. Hopefully, before I finish this series of post, I, myself, will be able to accept it fully and be ready to start a new beginning with someone else. 

The End

We crossed paths, but we were never meant to be. What left were the strong lingering notes of regrets, complaints, guilt, anguish, frustration, and sadness. It should have never ended like this, not like this. As the plane took off, we held hands for the last five minutes, memories of what has happened, what could have happened, and what should not have happened flashed across my mind, akin to the flash of memories before the bidding of a final goodbye to the world. 

Our quivering interlocking fingers squeezed tight, it had been so long that I've almost forgotten how it felt like to hold your hands. Almost as if it was in protest and rebellion to the inevitable, our fingers squeezed even tighter as we counted down to the time for taking off. In my mind, memories flashed from start to end, and finally ending with the last 12 days we have spent in Taiwan. The things that had happened, the time we have spent together, the heated arguments we had, the tears we shed together, and the acceptance that our relationship has went passed its recovery stage. 

As the plane took off, I bit onto my lips and shed my tears of regrets and sorrows in front of him for the last time. And then it happened, the moment of realization, panic, feelings of finality and acceptance, we reluctantly and hesitantly released our interlocking fingers. We have left everything in Taiwan, the whirlpool of emotions that I cannot and must not take back to Singapore.


And then I think to myself, what had gone wrong in this relationship? What had went wrong on this trip? What was the triggering moment for the downfall of this relationship? We had it all, we were a loving and adaptable couple, with clear honesty and communications. Our relationship stood tall and strong and there was supposed to be nothing that could have brought us down, or so, that was what we thought. Never one day had we imagined that our relationship would come crashing down on us. Never one day had we imagined one person could come between us and act as a catalyst to the destruction of our relationship.

All that was left now is emptiness, regrets, and a sense of loss, accompanied by a story that I have posted to Facebook and I will always remember.

“This trip to Taiwan had been the most memorable.

Happiness, guilt, insecurities, regrets, relief, anger, sadness, denial, and finally sweet bitterness and acceptance.

I have loved you with all the little-broken pieces of my heart and I'm glad that you've done the same. Thank you for the short company in this lonely train ride of mine.

I will never forget the story of a lonely wolf that had so much strength and vulnerability. The lonely wolf who sponges up negative emotions from everyone else around him to make them feel better. The lonely wolf who once loved a very lonely and broken cat, where they frolicked and indulged in everyday pleasantries and talked about their aspirations and hopes, vulnerabilities and demons.

There'll be a part of you in me that I'll bring to my grave. I'm glad that I've met you and decided to love you, I have never once regretted loving you and I never will. And I'll continue loving you till it becomes a past tense.





To Wolf,
Cat.”

Breaking free

I'm not quite sure if it's infatuation or love but I fell for someone I shouldn't had. I knew it wasn't gonna end well, it has always been like that. When I fall for someone before they do in return, it becomes something nasty and dark. I get emotional, needy and clingy. The three things that one should never get, or so that was what I've learnt.

And more often than not, they'll end up saying, "We're not even together, why are you like that?" or things like, "I hate people who are behaving like this, such a turn off."

While typing this, I'm still crying lol. I'm such a fool. Such a big big fool. To think that I fell for sweet whispering and gentle cuddles. That I fell for a simple pinky promise. To think that I fell for someone so quickly.

They have my blessings though..I wish for them not to feel what I felt.

-kaze

Demon

There's something lurking inside. Waiting, just waiting to break free.
I feel it creeping out every night. Killing and slaughtering just about anything.
Hush my child. Don't come out, don't come out.

-kaze

Hana No Kotoba

Under the crimson red sky,

holding onto an Anemone,

You appeared.

Under the glaucous painted sky,

blowing onto a Dandelion,

You disappeared.

Under the dark purple sky,

spilling tears onto a purple Carnation,

I closed my eyes.

Can you see what I see?

Under the dark curtains,

the meaning of my flowers. 

Dandelion

Floating against the pitch dark sky,

the dandelion seeds seemed to be gasping.

If, perhaps, love was to be blamed, 

then someday we too will be short of breath.

Thinking in whites and blacks,

I blew at the dandelions.

If, perhaps, my breath was to be blamed,

then someday I'm sure all will take flight.

Surrounded by the dancing dandelions,

your face was obscured.

Tears, spilled, blurring my vision,

waking me from this fleeting dream. 

He and I

Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Warming: Side effects may include seeing of lines, headaches, boredness, drowsiness, dry-mouth, sensitivity to light, blindness, liquification, lost of memory or even impotence. Stop reading once it happens and consult a doctor if the situation persists.

Embracing me from the back, he wrapped his arms over my chest. 

  'Where have you been?' Onuki whispered into my ear.

  Leaning back onto his left shoulder I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. 'No where, just went to the washroom to get rid of the ink stains,' I said.. 'Couldn't get rid of much though.'

  'Are you alright? They've been bullying you, again?' Onuki asked concernedly.

  'It's fine, don't worry about it,' I replied cheerfully. 'I'm used to it.'

Onuki got really quiet, as if he was planning something in his head. So I placed my hands over his and squeezed.

  'Really, I'm fine,' I  whispered. 'There's nothing to worry about.'

He looked into my eyes and planted a small peck on my cheeks.

  'Are you really sure?' Onuki asked doubtfully. 'You do realise that they will never stop unless you do something about it, right?'

  "I know, I know,' I replied, not bothering to hide my frustration. 'Look, I don't want to escalate this, so please don't do anything foolish. 

Onuki looked away and pouted a little. 

  I tiptoed and took a light nibble on his ear lobes. 'You look so adorable when you do this,' I said teasingly.

  'Why you!'  Onuki looked back and uttered with clear annoyance. 'I'm just worried for you okay!'

  I pulled away from his embrace and turned and looked at him. 'I will be fine, It's the end of me if I need a kid to lookout for me.' Then I stuck out my tongue and then hopped away.

Who is the kid here ugh.

Onuki shook his head and sigh.

Troublesome little thing. I hope he's alright though...

To be continued ~

My love, my confession

It was pouring and it was close to midnight. We were taking a bus from school, back home, together. Shoulder to shoulder, I felt the warmth I longed for. I still remembered vividly, the splatters of the rain against the window, the rumbling of the bus engines and the murmurings of the tertiary students.

I was falling asleep, indulging in the warmth from the slight physical contact. Just before I fell into the world of oblivion, I felt him moving closer to my face. His breath hot against my skin in the freezing bus. He whispered, "If you were a girl. I'd definitely fall in love with you, before anyone else."

It started off with us meeting in an all boys school. It wasn't all fairies and butterflies like all the other fall in love stories. In fact, I had a nasty first impression of him. He was rude, crude, disrespectful and on top of all that, arrogant and aloof. To make it worse? He cares naught about his schoolwork and lazes all day.

Being as 'suay' as I always am, I was nominated and became the class's chairperson. Knowing my duties, I started helping my class as a whole and it went fairly well, except for him. Lets just call him something typical, how about A? Well, we didn't get along well for like what? 2 years? I kept my distance from him, he kept his from me. It stayed like that for 2 years. Till one day.

The class started discussing about the game 'Dota', it probably came forward because the school introduced and started their advances in the E-gaming field. I had started playing this game ages back and I was definitely not a bad player. [I had joined tournaments before with my team.] My class knew about about me and someone suggested that we should play. Somehow after a game, A was convinced that I should be his teacher and there, bam, that was where it all started.

Over a span of two years, we got even closer together and he had been improving tremendously, he even created his own team for the upcoming tournament selection. Basically the top two teams would represent the school in the upcoming E-gaming competition. I still remembered how happy and anxious he was when he made it to the semi finals in our school. In the end, my team emerged top, his? Third.

I was the only one that saw him leaving the gaming room after the results were finalized. I was concerned but I did not know which type of response was appropriate, so I just followed. He was biting onto his lower lips, trying hard not to break down. He tried to make me go home, but I insisted in walking him home. Knowing it was futile he stopped. We reached the foyer of his block. Without turning to look at me, he whispered in an almost inaudible tone, "I don't want to go back home, not like that, not in this state."

We settled down on the nearby bench and he hugged himself and curled into a ball. I thought he was going to sleep or something, but I thought wrong. He started sobbing all of the sudden and I ended up tearing. There was this surge of emotions that I suddenly felt. I felt his despair, I felt his disappointment and I was at a loss. I reached out to embrace him and halted. Why? Why did I want to hug him I thought. My mind was in a mess, it didn't help that he was almost brawling and I was feeling helpless. In the next heartbeat, I suddenly had an epiphany. I was in love. With him. A guy.

I experienced a lot. More than which I could handle, in that same year and the year after. I experienced guilt, disappointment, jealousy, anger and sadness. My family was in a mess, my academics were plummeting, I couldn't get rid of the emotion in wanting to monopolize him, I screamed and screamed inside, there was no one I could talk to and it came to a point where I felt myself going insane. Then I snapped. I stopped talking to A, ignored him and treated him invisible. I thought it was my cure, my only cure out of this mess.

I spent my days fighting with myself, almost losing my edge every time I see him. His very voice made my heart pumped hard. If anything was close to hell, that probably stood next to it.

Our schools ended, we've completed our O levels. We never met till our results were announced. I scored a fairly decent grade considering how I almost smashed my prelims with a straight list of E8s' and F9s'. Contrary to my results, he did really badly for his O levels. Considering how he have gotten close to a single digit in his prelims.

From my other friends, I heard that he dumped by his girlfriend and he was badly affected by it. I didn't know what to think. I felt incredibly guilty and upset. I chided myself for not staying close to him to provide support. Yes, I was a fool, I ended up crying, people thought I did so because of my bad results LOL.

Eventually we patched up. My friends scammed me into meeting him. It was so awkward but the ice eventually melted away. We started talking again. Started texting, starting playing games and started hanging out. He spent a year in ITE and retook the following O level test. Scored decent grades, left ITE and went into the same polytechnic as me.

Now we're as close as ever. He tells me about his dreams and ambitions and intimate things like his relationships. Every time he ends up thinking that that was his fated one, things start to get ugly and he eventually gets dumped. And I? Always rushing to his side whenever something happens, even if it means that I have to abandon my classes.

If I could choose again, I would still want to be born as a guy. Why? You may ask. Because it is what allowed me to meet him. In an all boys school. I never regretted loving him.

It has been 6 years since I found out that I was in love with him. I still do. The depth of my love for him will remain as a secret, to him. Forever. I love you and I always will.

-Kage

Hatred

It's been ages since I last blogged bout anything. Too tired to be bothered. Too tired to do anything to motivate myself. *shrugs*


Anyway, I've realised that I've something against clubbers,cheaters and people who are in open relationships.
There's two parts of me that shares conflicting views.



Part of me believes that everyone is free to choose what they wanna do and they should not be condemned. Another part of me really hates people who goes out for casual 'fun', cheats around and hook people up at clubs. Idk it just feels god damn weird, there's just this pang of hatred that I can't get rid of. It's like ugh, I despise you mother fucker. Just burn in hell or something. (Just angry words to depict how I felt.)

Does that hatred comes from jealousy? Honestly, I'm not too sure either...but..jealousy? From what? Jealous of not being able to live like them? Maybe there's a part of me that just wants to let go of everything and just advance to a world where I'm not bound by my bondage.



I'm trying to escape...trying to. Maybe, just maybe one day..the other me might die off. Then I'd not be able to reason things out and fight any urges....

Maybe...just maybe.

Kaze

My Fears and Trepidations

I get defensive. I get irritated. I get aggressive. I get sarcastic. That's only because I feel intimidated. By all of my insecurities and all of the uncertainties that's going on. 

I'm afraid of getting ambushed by the other me that I've sealed way long ago. 

When it just surges forward and refuses to settle back in. 

The me that was always so naive and stupid.

The me that was so easily hurt and intimidated.

The me that was always so disgustingly hopeful and gentle. 

The me that was left vulnerable sitting on the wooden bench. Under the rain. Waiting and waiting. Just clinging onto a spider thread of hope.

 

When someone comes along and tries to pry through the locks I've had in place, I feel really uncomfortable and intimidated. I'm just too afraid of being let down again. So much so that I neglect the present which might open the right door I've been looking for.

It's really hilarious isn't it? When it comes to the person I love, I'm unable to control my emotions. I'm unable to stop myself from getting upset and jealous over every little stupid thing. And most of the time, I'd just hide whatever I feel deep down. So much so that I don't look vulnerable. . 

I get upset because I care. I get cold because I'm afraid. I get quiet because I'm fighting a war within myself. I guess it just doesn't shows that way. I only have myself to blame. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr-0t0vOryQ

Sometimes I let myself out, for a short while. Just for a really really short while. to let my other soul breathe and be hopeful. To let myself be vulnerable to someone. But usually it just ends up in an ugly mess. And it'd retreat back into my sanctuary eventually. 

It's ironic how I've always preached, "But he who dare not grasp the thorns, shall not crave the rose."

I dare not crave for the roses because of the experiences of invisible bleeding wounds. If only, if only I could just kill my emotions and start fooling around. 

-Kage

Angst

Just so sick of everything. Maybe I should just release my demons.



Why am I getting so upset over small things? I feel stupid. Real stupid.
Time to wake up and stop acting like a victim. You are not one, and you know that too.





Stop whispering sweet nothings. I have my pride. I won't allow a foot in me that easily. And please don't come looking for me coz you think I'm good looking or attractive. I'm not. It's all just in the photos. I will disappoint you in real life, so don't come at me with unpure intentions.



I'm really exhausted. Can't think well. Just gonna hit the sack.
Kage

Scissors business

Disclaimer: This post is based on real life experiences, any similarities in your life just meant that you are delusional awesome.
Warming: Side effects may include seeing of lines, headaches, boredness, drowsiness, dry-mouth, sensitivity to light, blindness, liquification, lost of memory or even impotence. Stop reading once it happens and consult a doctor if the situation persists.

Haha, been really really lazy busy so yeah, couldn't be bothered really find time to actually upload anything on mah my blog. @@;   )  :    Sorry!!!

Anyways, I've been desperately trying my best to escape from clear my makeup lessons, and it has been piling stagnant for quite a bit. Today, I went through a full day worth of classes and it was hell amazing. Woke up early in the morning for my lessons and had a fucked up an amazing day. I was so not excited!!!


I reached the bus stop with 3 minutes ample time before class starts and I chiong-ed slowly walked across the road. Something fucked up amazing happened. Guess what? An abortion-survivor angelic bird decided to bombard greet me with an egg of fury astonishing gift. It was milky white with a bit of brown and green and it was filled with half digested marvelous tree seeds. I was horrified enchanted by it. FML Lucky me huh?

Was almost late for class Reached my school with remarkable punctuality and I was so proud of myself feeling humble. My earliest 3 hours of much dreaded appreciated class was on the proper method of hair cutting. I played with my scissors practiced the motion that was taught and my fingers bruised like fuck really felt like it was created to bond with my pair of scissors. The metal literally bit into my fingers fit onto my finger and it felt really sensational good. I felt like I was a bloody clown in pain real professional and it was disastrous liberating.


Anyway, I felt like I stepped on a thousand lemons improved a lot at the end of the day. Happily went home and had a ninja lizard beautiful creature waiting ahead in the darkness for me. It was ambushing me welcoming me home and I didn't realised. Not till I fucking stepped on it and finally found it wiggling waggling its tail at me like a dog missing its owner. It was such a scrotum slamming  beautiful day, I genuinely hope that this would not fucking continue. I'd love to have another one of this torturous and depressing sexciting and fulfilling day.


Thanks for reading my blog everyone. With loads and loads of love.
Kaze

Breaking Point

I'm almost at my limit...


Lessons Per Normal - Usually starts at 8am ends at 6pm
Landscape Design Studio III - Have to purchase materials for models this week. + Autocad Landscaping on softscape + hardscape + detailing. [Staying in school's loft this entire week to finish it.]
Floristry & Event Management (FYP), Saturday. [Buy plant materials, buy decorative materials + finish report & decoration preparations by Friday]
World Issues, A Singapore Perspective: Political Systems final presentation + report due next week.
Plant Identification II - Common test on taxonomy and classifications of plants. [50 over plants.] - On Thursday
Turf Management Field Trip Report - Needs further editing. - Due this Thursday.
Workforce Professional Photo Shoot - This Thursday. [My steam iron made yellow brownish rust spots on my formal shirt, I don't have any other formal shirts.]
Hard Disk Data Extraction - Have to collect in two weeks time if not data will be deleted and I'll still have to pay 1.5k. [Wednesday slot is fully booked, must collect on weekdays, timing 9.30am - 10.30am and 2.00pm - 4.00pm.] --> Fuck I've got lessons god dammit.
Project Management Project - Due on 29 July.

Horticulture Engineering Creative Project - Due end of Semester.
Turf Management Creative Project - Due end of Semester.
Landscape Workshop + Test - Next Saturday.
Part Time Hairstyling Diploma - 12 hours per week.

I have no idea how I'm gonna do this. I know I shouldn't be posting this...but, if I don't, I don't have the courage to continue.

-kage

Reminiscences Of Past: Prologue Part 2

While slurping his bowl of noodles, Kaze's eyes wandered down the class table and eventually stopped at where the 'new guy' was. 'Hmmm...he seems lonely sia, I wonder if he's coping well with this class.' He thought as he let out an audible sigh. "Maybe I'll go talk to him and see what happens." Kaze finally decided.
'Well, I don't think it'll hurt to make another friend heh!' Kaze amused himself with that thought as he returned his tray to the respective stall.

'Hey, what's your name?' He asked as he jerked his chin.
'I'm Ryu, why?' Ryu said as he briefly gave a side glance to Kaze.
'Oh damn, this guy seems nasty.' Kaze thought as he attempted to hide that thought from showing.
'Nothing lah, was just wondering where you from.' Kaze replied sheepishly as he tries to look into Ryu's eyes.
'Why should I tell you? None of your business right?' He replied with obvious aggression.

Kaze withdrew immediately and left without rebuking. He swiftly walked back to his seat with a face that was devoid of emotions. It was expected, he chided himself, this class is filled with jerks and arseholes who are not motivated to study.

Kaze diverted his gaze out of the window and followed the movement of the graying clouds that were approaching. A storm is brewing.



To be continued...

Reminiscences Of Past: Prologue Part 1

This story is about the love life and the major events faced by the protagonist through his secondary school days.

Disclaimer: This post is based on a real life story, any similarities in your life just means that you are delusional a friend of the protagonist, hurhur. 
Warning: Side effects may include seeing of lines, headaches, boredness, drowsiness, dry-mouth, sensitivity to light, blindness, liquification, lost of memory or even impotence. Stop reading once it happens and consult a doctor if the situation persists.


Things have settled down somewhat over the past two years and Kaze has begin to blend better into the class. MM secondary school was his school, an all boys school, filled with retards and annoying people ruthless and fearless delinquents. His class is a dump for all low grades a black listed class, notorious for all the wrong reasons and feared and respected by the students from all the other classes. Among them lies a charming normal and chirpy student who was forced nominated into the honorable position of the class dog chairman. No one dared to disiao find trouble with him because of his wide variety of connections and it saved him from the shit of the underworld protected him from the events of the underworld.

Eh no shit, why are we talking about all this? This ain't no power struggle story. Kk, back to the story.

'Who's this person sitting at the far corner of the class? Mm...he seems so aloof.' or so Kaze thought to himself as he stared at the crumpled uniform of his new classmate while lazily fumbling for his textbook. Kaze took a quick scan around the class and was greeted by a class filled with heads that were glued to the table. 'Haiz, wa lao eh, it's not fair man, why can't the class chairman sleep too sia..' or so Kaze grumbled to himself while reluctantly opening his textbook to the page the teacher was instructing on. 'Sian, maths. Oh well, recess next, nvm, tahan a bit.' mumbled Kaze as he forcefully push away all the unpleasant thoughts and started making mental notes of what to eat in the break while he started drawing doodles on the textbook.

To be continued...

Long time no post!

Gg, sorry guys!! Haven't been posting very often even though I promised to....

But yeah well, basically, the hard disk of my lappy has issues and I can't retrieve the data from it. Haiz, I'm probably gonna send it to some specialist to retrieve the data...but it's probably gonna cost a bomb. $1k++ , idk...heard from da acer guy!

 SIAN SIAAAAAAA!!! My dataaaaaa!! My portfoliooooo!!! All mah picturessss nuuuuuu... THISSSS CANNOTTTT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.


-
 Okay lah, I promise to continue blogging if I get mah data back! Till then!!!
-kaze

Dice

The dice I've rolled said it missed. Please, don't expect me to open myself to your whims. -kage

Politics

Am really pissed right now. I don't know man, I've been steering myself away from all this politics for so long and now, during the final year for the forming of groups, they actually left me out.


Group A invited me to join their group, I accepted at first, but I turned them down later because Group B invited me to join afterwards. (I'm doing my FYP [Final Year Project] with Group B, so I thought it'd be more convenient if we were in the same group.)

Well after the day has passed, the 'root of all this politic' formed her own group and apparently left me out. Idk, seriously, I don't really care anymore. If I don't get into any group, I'm still gonna try da finish this, even if I have to finish this alone.



-kage

Panda!

This picture was taken in USA. I think I was visiting the Panda Express or something then I came across this suggestive picture HAHAHA. *runs around in circles*

Good night everyone!
I'm sick orz.
-kaze

Dessert!!

My mum cooked this the other day!! It's damn nice when it's served chilled lahhh!!

She added a purple colored dragon fruit which gave the soup its distinctive purplish hue!
Awesome righttttt~!!

[Random fact: dragon fruit comes from cactus.]





-kaze